I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
