and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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