I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
