What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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