32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
