I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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