Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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