trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
