I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
