How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
