She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
