Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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