It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
