Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
