How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
