Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize