i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Let's paint friendship bongs
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
