just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize