69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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