is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Two words: blizzard sex
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
