I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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