Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
