I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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