"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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