I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
