My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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