we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
you made out with another girl for some wings
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
