They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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