i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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