you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
