I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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