If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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