sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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