And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
