The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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