I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
