So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
