haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
