i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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