There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
