ugly people sure do ruin things
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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