i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
