dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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