watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize