I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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