i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I just want to make out with him forever
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
