why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Randomize
