Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
