If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
