Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
