this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
