So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
