Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
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