I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
