maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Randomize
