All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
