That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
