He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
The adults are the big ones right?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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