how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
