I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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