Quick, to the slutcave!
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
