I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize