It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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